Loner

I've burned all my bridges.

It's a strange thing to realize, and I'm not certain that I did it on purpose.... but it just happened... and I can't tell if I just drifted away from people, or if we broke up... but friends are scarce these days, and part of me is ok with that.

In college, I had a few good friends, and managed to alienate a lot others over the years- miscommunication and misunderstandings being the worst of the worst culprits.

And highschool- when I admit it, I never had friends anyway... sure, I had friends, but no good friends. Or at least, none that cared enough to try and reply to my emails for more than a month or two.

And looking around- at my parents and my future husband - we're all alike... Clinging to eachother - our spouses - because that's who matters....

Friends. Come and go. And it will always be that way....

I signed up for face book this morning, and came face to face with my best friend in college... She dumped me after I graduated. Yelled at me for trying to contact her to tell her I had been granted an assistantship in France. How dare I call her girlfriend to find her, and by the way, did I steal her wallet?

No. I didn't steal your girlfriend's wallet. I sent it to her because she left it in my car. It wasn't my fault she didn't get the package.

She broke up with me, choosing her on again, off again girlfriend who she cheated on with her ex boyfriend.

(admittedly, I'm better off without the drama)

But I found my new life - one could say my old life - in my childhood home. With the man who loves me.

And he's my best friend. He will love me and our bridge won't be burned over a missing wallet.

And yes- I have friends. Two wonderful girlfriends who I talk to everyday, who wouldn't betray me for something silly.

And that's fine with me... because I'd rather have a few good friends than a lot of bad friends.

I've found that I look forward to the drive home after work so that I can listen to Dave Ramsey.

It's one of the few times of day that I can be alone and not feel obligated to listen to what someone else may want to listen to.


I miss Sunday mornings at the local book store; grabbing half a dozen books, a mocha, and sitting there for a few hours, trying to find a new book to read or something interesting to study up on.


The long drive from home to college was always a good time for personal reflection from who I was from who I was becoming at school. And now I find myself somewhere inbetween, the extremes of being a teenager, and the passage of 3 years gone from academia.

It's strange, but I know what my future will hold- at least a rough sketch of it, and that makes me feel better about it all.

All Hail

There are some things I just can't master.

Like paying a bill the day I get it in the mail.

It's a disease.

I look at the bill, check the due date, and promptly forget about it.

Until the day before it's due, that is.

My cell phone bill is the worst of these; I have Cell One, but opted to go to a small, privately owned store whose customer service is based locally, rather than Bruhaha, India.

And, being in a small resort town, they take the same attitude as most businesses - goddamnit if we aren't profiting off of those fudge eating tourists, we will sure as hell NOT be open on the weekends, outside the hours of 9-5, 12-1, next Tuesday and every other day of the week.

So when one remembers that their bill is due on Friday night at 8:30 pm, and no open hours on Saturday or Sunday, it's safe to assume that you will shortly be incurring late fees that rival Lindsay Lohan's court fees.

The only saving grace?

Praise be to the internet and debit cards.