Saturday, September 1, 2007

Loner

I've burned all my bridges.

It's a strange thing to realize, and I'm not certain that I did it on purpose.... but it just happened... and I can't tell if I just drifted away from people, or if we broke up... but friends are scarce these days, and part of me is ok with that.

In college, I had a few good friends, and managed to alienate a lot others over the years- miscommunication and misunderstandings being the worst of the worst culprits.

And highschool- when I admit it, I never had friends anyway... sure, I had friends, but no good friends. Or at least, none that cared enough to try and reply to my emails for more than a month or two.

And looking around- at my parents and my future husband - we're all alike... Clinging to eachother - our spouses - because that's who matters....

Friends. Come and go. And it will always be that way....

I signed up for face book this morning, and came face to face with my best friend in college... She dumped me after I graduated. Yelled at me for trying to contact her to tell her I had been granted an assistantship in France. How dare I call her girlfriend to find her, and by the way, did I steal her wallet?

No. I didn't steal your girlfriend's wallet. I sent it to her because she left it in my car. It wasn't my fault she didn't get the package.

She broke up with me, choosing her on again, off again girlfriend who she cheated on with her ex boyfriend.

(admittedly, I'm better off without the drama)

But I found my new life - one could say my old life - in my childhood home. With the man who loves me.

And he's my best friend. He will love me and our bridge won't be burned over a missing wallet.

And yes- I have friends. Two wonderful girlfriends who I talk to everyday, who wouldn't betray me for something silly.

And that's fine with me... because I'd rather have a few good friends than a lot of bad friends.

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